Control: At What Point Do I Stop?
I, Dalton Lewis, have to give up sometime, right? I’ve written ten or so books and haven’t become a big hit. I haven’t sold a million copies or sold the movie rights to anything. Writing is becoming a hobby, not a potential profession.
Here’s what I’ve done: I have written 434 blog entries which have been read between zero and twenty times, with an average around five times per article. I try to show the real nature of the world around us — showing how difficult it can be to be mentally ill, showing that most people don’t become presidents or movie stars, and the like. More recently the numbers are down for the blog — fewer people read it, and that bothers me. I try to write about the reality of a difficult life in America today — and about life with a mental illness. Honestly the blog isn’t as big a hit anymore — I’ve struggled with writing it recently.
I have written maybe ten fan fiction stories with about twenty to fifty reads per story — with 200 or so reads of the biggest one, Warhammer 40k in the Year 2020. I love fan fiction and I love writing about my favorite characters from the best stories. This is a positive about writing. I should do more fan fiction and less blogging.
I wrote ten books. Of those I have sold maybe sixty copies and had four hundred plus free downloads. I have written realistic books about schizophrenia, horror stories, teen superhero stories, and sci fi epics with planets far away and space battles. I have written in a number of genres and tried to make literature with my writing. I haven’t written a big hit yet. I haven’t written a book that people have said about it — that’s amazing, thanks, I loved it.
Most recently I wrote a realistic book about schizophrenia. I tried to show the world what it’s like to live with a mental illness. I poured my heart onto the page and wrote in a frank way about my life.
I sold one copy.
I know — wait for it. It’s been three days and I’ve sold one copy. Twenty or so people have downloaded V Max One for free and might be reading it — I’m not sure. I don’t hear back from the people who buy or borrow my books. I don’t know if they care or not that I spend months of my life working like crazy to make these things only to sell one copy.
Update — three. I’ve sold three copies of Ascension. Three. That’s not enough. I need to do more, sell more, impress more people.
At some point this becomes a hobby and not a potential career. At some point I’m not going to sell a thousand copies. I fear that time is coming near.
Thanks, and take care, friends.
