Control: Cobenfy, An Introduction…

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I, Dalton Lewis, aka Daniel Trump, have had paranoid schizophrenia for twenty-plus years.

I’m crazy.

Without antipsychotic medication I pace around, yelling at the walls. I can’t hear other people when they are talking to me because I’m too busy talking to the voices in my head when I’m not on said meds. I call people on my phone when my phone isn’t on. I go to the same movies over and over and don’t pay attention to them. I lost more friends than I can count because I couldn’t be there for them or even remember much about them. I didn’t have any knowledge of the world around me. Everything was a haze of mental confusion.

The medications help, but they don’t fix it. I still don’t pay much attention to the world around me. I still make a mess every time I eat. I still don’t notice my decisions or think about the world around me very much. I still live in a haze, thinking about the stories in my head instead of the real world around me. Video games dominate my life — the same ones, over and over, get played even though I know how most of them end.

Now, however, the doctors have come up with a new medication.

It’s called Cobenfy, and I’ve been taking it for three days. It’s pretty damned good so far.

I’ve gotten a lot done while taking this med. It has led to several blog entries, a draft of a fan fiction, two thousand words of lore on the next novel, and three thosuand words of the new fantasy mystery novella. Also I wrote one thousand five hundred words of a mecha story that I abandoned — but I’m proud of the effort nevertheless.

I stopped playing the same video games over and over even though I know exactly how they go. I stopped watching the same old shows over and over. I downloaded a couple new games and started to stream a couple new shows that were made recently. I know — it’s not saving the world.

It’s a new change. I am thinking about the real world, and I am still creative. I just control the thoughts that I have in my head. They don’t dominate my life — they are merely a self-contained part of it. I have a huge world out there to explore — and I can daydream about adventures at the same time.

I want to say several things now.

First, this is not a paid endorsement.

Second, this is not to recommend the med to anyone. I’m not a doctor.

Third, anecdotally, this med has improved my life a little bit.

I’m grateful to all the doctors and pharmacists who work so hard to make meds that improve our lives. They have really come through on this one. I can pay more attention to the world around me, and that is a blessing.

Thanks, and take care, friends.