Control: Fat!!!

I, Dalton Lewis, am 300 fucking pounds. I’m fat. I’m not a little overweight — I’m 300 pounds. I am so fat that I have trouble getting around the house. I know that this is a problem and I know that something has to be done about it. I have an exercise bike. I’m trying to get better at working out six days a week — instead of sitting around looking at screens all day and all night, drinking soda and eating white bread. White bread! The outrage! No responsible person can eat white bread anymore, not with the data that’s out there right now. No one.

I wanted to work out and lose 100 pounds last year. I lost none and gained ten pounds or so. I don’t know why or how. I worked out a lot of days last year. I ate a little better. I didn’t eat candy very much at all. I ate burgers sometimes, and I ate Taco Bell sometimes, but I didn’t eat the worst food imaginable every meal. I rarely ate donuts or pastries. I sat around, playing video games and reading and writing, and I couldn’t go out and do anything because of this fucking Covid-19 problem. I just sat around most days, every day, writing and reading and watching television…

That isn’t acceptable under normal circumstances. I need to do something better than that. Let’s be honest for a second: I ate too much. I ate foods which are fattening, a lot of them. I took anti-psychotic medications which slowed down my body, but I also stopped working out for fifteen years or so. That’s on me. I went to the movie theater and ate popcorn countless times. I ate candy countless times. That’s also on me. I ate burgers regularly. I ate fries. I drank soda. Hell, for ten years or so I drank almost exclusively soda. That’s devastating for one’s body. That’s terrible. I should have drunk water.

Why don’t I eat well? Why don’t I work out six days a week? I don’t know. I don’t have any easy answers to these questions. I don’t know why many adult Americans are so fucking irresponsible that we become fat and bloated. It’s on us. It’s our responsibility to lose weight and get into shape. It’s not genetics, not for most of us. It’s not our body type. It’s not some freak problem that we have no control over. We eat too much sugary food. We drink too many sugary drinks. We don’t work out enough. We gain weight. It’s a problem for many Americans. We are responsible for this problem.

What should we do about this? Well we should work out and eat less. That’s it. It’s not the hardest or most difficult answer. It’s just the truth. We shouldn’t do this to ourselves. We should also cook more healthy meals and eat more healthy portions when we go out to eat. We should usually eat healthy foods and only occasionally eat McDonald’s or Burger King until they start to sell healthier food options that are of acceptable quality.

There is one other thing to consider. I was skinny until they gave me anti-psychotic meds. That’s a fact. I was skinny until paranoid schizophrenia destroyed my ability to be responsible and get everything done. With voices talking to me in my head — that became something that was a problem. I couldn’t make myself be responsible. I couldn’t clean my room. I couldn’t eat healthy. I couldn’t work out. I couldn’t pay attention to the world around me. I couldn’t do the daily basics that the rest of you can do: I became unable to do them. That’s the thing, though: I should have tried harder. I should have fought against the disease harder. I should have given everything more of an effort. I shouldn’t have given up and not worked out more than a little for ten to fifteen years. I gave up. I shouldn’t give up, not again, not ever. I should try to get in shape. I shouldn’t give up going forward.

Thanks, and take care, friends.