Control: Life Update…
I, Dalton Lewis, haven’t blogged for a while. Let’s catch up. Here’s what I’m up to:
- I’m taking a walk most days. I love the feeling of getting out into the world around me, seeing the trees and the grasses and the cars driving past me. It took into mid-May for the weather to warm up and stop raining but it finally did. For all of April I sat at home, glum, gaining weight, not exercising, moping. During May I walked to the savannah near my house most days, walking to a pond and back, just me and my thoughts.
- I felt glum because my novel — Teenage Nightmare Chronicles — had two initial bad reviews and looked to be a disaster. As April and May progressed, though, several people gave it five stars, pushing the average rating up to three point five stars — not bad, not bad at all. I’m pleased with that rewrite of an old project. I worked on and off — mostly off — for a dozen years on that project and wanted it to mean something to someone. Ascension, my look at a personal life with mental illnesss, has fifteen ratings and a three point six or seven average. MKM: Mecha Kaiju Mars is around four point five or so with six ratings. I’m happy with most of the recent reviews of most of the current books. I’m trying to turn around the quality of my writing, and I hope that it’s working.
- Finnegan and I plotted out a book together. We sat around, playing board games in his apartment, and I mentioned Microscope, a game he got me for Christmas and my birthday the year before. It’s a storytelling game in which we create a storyline of events and tell a grand, epic tale. He poured himself a drink and me some water and we sat down in the finished half of his basement at a card table. We got out index cards and began to develop an optimistic superhero story set in the year 2055. It’s a month and a half later and I have a draft of a 43,000 word short novel complete and I’m starting to revise it. I’m always grateful when Finnegan plots out a story with me. He’s a great friend and has interesting ideas about society and culture.
- I saw a bunch of movies. Covid-19 reduced in intensity and frequency so I was able to get out more often. I saw The Northman, a wonderful movie based on the story that became Hamlet. Also I viewed Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, a Sam Raimi Marvel Cinematic Universe crossover tale. It had a lot of wonderful moments and elements in it even if a few things frustrated me. The Batman impressed me that it was dark, grim, cold, lonely, and very Batman.
- Gaming, of course — I played a lot of Marvel Crisis Protocol. I had Avengers and played poorly for a long while, losing with Iron Man, Captain America, and the rest of the crew. Then I switched to Criminal Syndicate after firing the Avengers because they deserved it. I picked up Kingpin, Lizard, Killmonger, and company and did very well. Then I switched to X-Men and I’m expecting big things from Storm and company. Phillip is getting more and more movie projects and Terry still isn’t taking any shit from anyone.
- The voices — they are a part of me and have been a part of me for twenty years. I talk to myself in my head all the time. It distracts me from the world around me. It’s called paranoid schizophrenia because we don’t know what it is or what to call it. They aren’t bothering me as badly as they used to in previous years. They are a part of me.
- I missed my antidepressant a couple times. Wow. Those days kicked my ass. I sat there, moody and miserable, unable to function, unable to do much of anything, thinking the worst thoughts ever. I dread the idea of having to quit an antidepressant because I don’t know how to stop using them without crashing hard.
- Parents are fine. Dad is sick with Parkinson’s but still working and working hard to do everything that he used to do. Mom still helps out at the historical society. They visit the library most days.
- I cook some meals for myself. I find self-cooked meals can be delicious and a real confidence-boost and can make me make myself some healthy meals. I do get them from a meal service company but work hard to follow the complicated instructions.
- I haven’t been reading enough — I’m trying to read The Lords of Discipline but it’s slow going. I’m trying to read the Siege of Terra series. I’m in book IV — I had to look at the spine to know which book I was on. I’m still reading.
That’s it for now — the plan is to write two blog entries a week, one a review and the other one a blog entry about my life with mental illness.
Thanks, and take care, friends.