Control: Monday Tidbits…

Crimes of Youth and Passion

Ten random thoughts on a Monday…I, Dalton Lewis, aka Daniel Trump, had a hell of a bad run of luck this weekend.

1. Let’s get to the important thing that went really badly this weekend: the Chicago Bears lost to the Cleveland Browns in a game that they should have won. They played well and had the game in hand until a total fourth quarter breakdown. What happened? I don’t know. They just don’t seem to know how to win yet. They’re 5–9. I’m tired of the Bears. I’m done for the season. I’ll watch the games, but I don’t really care anymore. I want some meaningful change. I won’t watch podcasts every day anymore until I think that something has improved.
2. I got my shiny new codex with great new rules for the Ad Mech forces for the Warhammer 40k game. I bought dice, I bought the cards, and I bought the new model — the new unit that the army got. I put together a force and ordered new models from the website. I put together a fearsome-sounding army with a little bit of everything. I came to the wargaming tournament Saturday morning, happy to compete, ready to see how my minis would do in some fun, casual tournament games.
3. I left the tournament after the second round of the three rounds. I left because I did not want to play with that army for a third game. It’s a shame that I spent money on that army — I won’t use them again anytime soon. I lost everything by the end of the third turn of both games. I was advised to be more conservative. Well, I don’t know how. I don’t know how to hide and not take objectives and not take shots and just sit in my zone and not do anything while my opponent takes objectives and takes over the game. I have trouble with that. I lost again. I am on a very long Warhammer 40k losing streak.
4. Mini-Review: I watched The Boy and the Heron. It was quite wonderful, with wonderful animation and a large and dangerous fantasy world to explore and cherish. It’s quite similar to some of his other works, but it still shows an interesting portrait of a boy sad about the death of his mother. It’s about loss and grief instead of a good guy fighting a bad guy. There are bad guys, but they are secondary in the story.
5. Mini-Review # 2: The Cabinet is an interesting novel by Un-Su Kim. It’s about a cabinet. Really. There are files in the cabinet. Someone reviews the files for work. This leads to strange shenanigans. It’s quite exciting, for a book about a cabinet and a workplace.
6. Mini-Review # 3: Reacher is an excellent television show. I don’t watch very much of the television that is supposedly excellent and must-watch and that everyone watches, but I do watch Reacher, and it’s quite good. He’s a good master detective/brawler who gets into interesting problems and has to get himself out of them — and he owns only a toothbrush. I got confused trying to read one of the novels, but that’s because I wasn’t paying enough attention to the characters and their relationships. I want to try to read a Reacher novel again. They sound good.
7. I’m trying to evaluate what to do to try to be smarter. I want to be more intelligent. That means more research towards my novels and towards being a more well-educated person. I didn’t keep up with my Japanese language learning after college, and during college I didn’t memorize enough vocabulary and Kanji. I regret that. I didn’t memorize every fact that I learned during college. I regret that, too. I want to be more educated. In a world which is less into emphasizing memorization I want my life to feature more and more memorization.
8. For Christmas and my birthday I am getting a new graphics card and the games Starfield and Baldur’s Gate 3. That will entertain me for a while, I think. I haven’t played a new video game in several years. We will see if I am capable of playing a contemporary video game. I certainly have played the games of the past forty years for those past forty years. I remember when video games started to get good — about 2002 or so. That was the time when graphics got better and voice acting started to be featured in games. That made them much more playable. Since then I have obsessed over video games.
9. My role-playing group has had a (maybe temporary) collapse over the holidays. Finnegan just can’t make it to a role-playing session any more — he is too busy with work and family obligations. He is married and a father of two and works for a living. I understand. I’m looking for other role-playing groups. We’ll see if one shows up.
10. Sports seem like the exact opposite of novel-writing. Instead of creating anything there is no predicting or making the score into what you want it. Instead the score is whoever wins — well, wins. I like the contradiction of not being able to guess a sporting game because no one can guarantee an outcome. I also like the contradiction of people being able to give all their characters Pulitzers in the context of their stories, and also being able to make them win all their fights and save the universe over and over. I want more stories about losing. I’ve seen enough winners for one lifetime. I don’t win a whole lot. The characters onscreen are usually beautiful and successful. I am often neither of those. Where is a hero like me?

10a. The MCU has suffered a similar fate to my writing, it seems — being picked apart by critics online and called weak and jumpy and poorly written. I can sympathize with their writers, directors, and actors. They are professionals who are trying their hardest to entertain millions. I’m sorry that they are failing.

10b. Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 is my pick for the best movie of the year. It’s fantastic. Rocket is fantastic. It’s about people who are broken and hurting. It’s something I can get behind. They aren’t perfect. It’s fantastic. Highly recommended.

10c. I turn 46 soon. I have nothing to say about that except to say that I am continuing to write hard, play strategy games, role-play, and read books and watch movies and television. I am continuing with my interests.

10d. As many of you know I have paranoid schizophrenia. I haven’t had the greatest holiday season in terms of mental health. I have tried to do my best to handle and mitigate any mental stress that is happening to me, but it is a difficult time of year. I have to simply fight through and tell myself that I need to not worry about the stories inside of my head — they are just stories and the real world is what is important.

Thanks, and take care, friends.